Monday, June 8, 2009

what's wrong with me?:(

vivian cho yan li'baby,
im sorry i misunderstood you,hurt you,over and over again.
your words mean alot to me,if i say i trust you,you'll tell me to keep my trust to myself.
i know nothing i do can make up for what i've done,i just keep repeating the
same mistakes over and over again,i never learn my lesson do i?
you don't wanna hear me say sorry or i really didn't mean to do it,fine.
those words will never come out of my mouth ever again,never.
you tell me th truth not wanting to hide anything to me,but i went ahead and started
thinking alot and ended up misunderstanding you. you must be thinking
where'd my trust for you go?it's not that i don't trust you!
it's just so many things have happened last time,th past is affecting me ALOT.
i even made you regret calling me. to be honest,i wouldn't be thinking so much,making all this
unecessary problems if i felt your love for me 100%. but it's just sometimes
the way you talk to me sucks,and everytime that happens i begin
to doubt your love for me. you can be so sarcastic when your angry,and when
you are you can really hurt me alot. but i know it's all my fault that i made you say all the
hurtful words. i guess what i've done this time really hurt you alot,
when we were together the 1st month,we quarreled at least once a week.
even after,we still quarreled sometimes. but after wednesday,we didn't
quarrel for quite awhile. Did you notice it?i enjoy not quarreling with you,
i enjoy laughing together with you over the phone,i enjoy everything i do with you,
everything except quarreling with you):
it's because after wednesday,everyone felt you changed?you loved me more?
that's why i felt less insecure,but i guess you won't love me as much anymore
after what i've done to you,im sorry i spoiled your mood.
and it's all my fault,i always hurt you,
i don't know what's happening to our relationship seriously,i know that
i still love you alot no matter what. but i made you cry,AGAIN.
and nothing i do can make up for it. now i guess you won't even
go out with me when you get homeleave,i really don't know what i've done this time.
but i will do anything it takes,just for us to be happy together again.
even if it's the impossible,i will try!but you say nothing i do
can make up for it,i really don't know what i should do now.
i really don't want to lose you :( i don't know when will you forgive me,
but i really hope you will forgive me one day. i long to see you,
i really wanna go out with you,i just wanna hug you so tightly.
but after what i've done,i don't know if you'll still go out with me?
will you still love me like you did?after i hurt you so badly,
will you? you gave me chances over and over again,but i always spoil it.
I SERIOUSLY DON'T KNOW WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME!
but i really love you alot<3i hope you will forgive me for hurting you:(
i love you<3'

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