=(

baby,im scared to lose you:(.
i got all the answers i need from you,i was happy.
even though i got all the answers,why do i still feel scared?
why do i still have all this negative thoughts?
why do i still cry?
im suprised by how far love can take me.
'love' gave me emotions that i've felt before,but not so deeply.
it made me realise how impt you are
i never wanna leave you,i don't want you to ever leave me either,:(
i can't imagine life without you right now.
i wanna hold your hand tight,i wanna tie our hands together.
i wanna hug you so-so-so tight,and i never wanna let go.
i wanna be by your side forever,and never leave you!never.
im very happy you changed,you showed what i wanted most.
you're not the only one that is scared,im more scared then you are.
i don't know how come i can fall so deeply in love with you,but i just am.

Sometimes i wish i'm the only girl you talk to,the only girl you missed,the only girl you loved,the only girl in your heart,the only girl that entered your life,but i know it's impossible..
this is what you said,but for me i wish that i was the only boy.
i will love you,care for you forever and ever,i will never leave you or break you heart ever again.
i will stop the bleeding in your heart,if i can't,i'll just slower the bleeding.
you made me realise how big the word "promise" is and how important it is.
i will never break another promise no matter what,whether it is small,or big.
you said hurt you like how you hurt me,break your heart for what breaks mine,
do anything to you as long as it makes me happy,but guess what?
loving you with everything makes me happy enough.
there's alot of better girls,i agree. but none are as special as you<3
i will never like another girl no matter how pretty,cute they are.
i just want you,you,you and only YOU!:(
i know it's not easy to wait 3years,alot of things will happen.
but it doesn't matter,i still will wait!because i know it's worth it.It is.
i wanna cherish every second i can spend with you,talk to you.
iloveyou ALOTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!<3333333
baby,don't ever leave me ok?:(
im really scared you will leave me,im more scared than you are.Trust me.
im scared im scared im scared im scared im scared im scared im scared im scared im scared im scared im scared!:(i wanna hug you right now,i wanna hug you so tightly and never let go,i wanna spend every second i have in my life with you,but i know it's not possible,not now.
but whenever you ask me out,no matter what,i will say yes,no matter how busy i am.
because i love you<3.

Baby,May27 was the last day i could see you before june hols,haven't seen you till now:( but nvm!finally tmw can see you!hahah,after th phone call you made i just smiled to myself like a retard,and i couldn't stop smiling. i meant every word i said to you,every promise i made to you on msn the other day,and i won't break the promises no matter how small it is,because a promise is a promise like you said. I don't know why im just so deeply in love with you(: i can't imagine life without you right now, im sorry for hurting you so much before last time,let's stay happy together alright?<3when you're happy,im happy. when you're sad,im sad. i will share all your burdens and you will share mine too. yeah,we've been through alot alot together,there's more to come,let's hold on together ok?(:love you.
remember,what's mine is yours also k?<3

wake up,brush teeth,wash face then i went t watch tv!just for a short while,hahah. showered then i went to find my mom during her lunch break,shopping,WHOOO~haha(:blablabla,then went to tiong bahru plaza cux my bro ask me go watch movie with him and friends,they keep saying funny things and make me laugh=.=after movie went home!but on the way home something happened,then i can't stop smiling!Wahahaha<3.

lalala,tralala. lmao.

Whoooo!~cousins coming over tonight!<3
i wanna hug themmmm,muahahahah<3
i want my old life back(:
easy to start,hard to quit.
going to church really changed me.
thanks huimin for bringing me^^.
ever since then,i've been praying everday,everynight.
i cry everytime i do,because i can say what i want,and it's hurtful things
which i want to become better:(.
im sure Daddy will answer my prayers someday,i will wait(:
should i get my old life back?will i regret it?
idk,idk,idk,idk,idk,idk,idk,idk,idk,idk,idk,idk,idk:(

the old timessss (:

sleep sleep sleep!bwahahaha!then celene wake me up :( :( .
supposed to meet them at 10!but i woke up late,hahaha.suddenly
felt like eating subway cookies!then i ask celene help me buy first
she really buy:P so kind lahh. then i bus-ed down to vivo reach around 10:45.
then i saw marcus! then quenten called me we walk walk walk to find him=.=.
nvm skip to the part where we met up with everyone:P. went t buy tics,
then we went to sentosa! then we bought a volleyball and went to play,haha.
got bored then me and quenten started to kick it instead:P we wanted to swim,
then rain!BOOM!D: but nvm,haha barely 5mins rain stop already=.=then we went
swimming!HAHAHAH. so fun! me,celene,quenten,avery swam to the other side,lmaoo!
so tiring sia! but so cool uh,haha. got starfish! feels like rubber like that=.=. swam back,
shower then we headed to vivo!ate at superdog,then we went t play arcade! play until
crazy like that,hahahaha. today was an awesome day lah,had alot of fun!all my worries
and troubles just got washed away!but it all came back when i went home,and saw some stuff.
anyway!end off with some pics:P the group pic is with celene:( she left her cable at msia,AHHH D:careless girl! will upload group pic when i get it,xD. I LOVE CELENE,QUENTEN,WENQING,MARCUS AND ALL OF THEM LAHHH:D(celene forgot to hug byebye:(. i go cry,lmao kidding:P)
can't wait for next outing^^
oh yeah,VIVIAN CHO YAN LI, i love you!:P

mixed-feelings:(

i want to be loved by you,but not like this.
our r/s is slowly drifting apart.
Daddy told me to let go,the answer was infront of me.
but NO,i can't let go,i just can't:(.
i may have broken a simple promise before,it's because the promise didn't mean alot.
but i promised i will never let go no matter how tough,hurtful it is.
And this is a promise i swore to myself i would never break!
you say you love me,you don't show it.
you say you care for me,you don't show it.
you say deep down you do,but what's the point if you're not showing it?
all i want is you to show me that you love me,is that too much to ask?
im lost,confused,broken down.
i've done everything i could,i've given you everything i had.
and you changed,but you changed back.
it hurts alot knowing what i've done over the past 2months was empty.
it all just got washed away?
even though our r/s seems like it's drifting further apart,but i still love you
as much as i always did before.
Do you still love me like you did?
i miss you alot,i really do.
But the old you:(
Did i do something wrong?tell me,i will change. For you.
but if you truly love me,please show me?
don't keep it inside,don't hide your feelings.
i don't like the way you talk to me sometimes,it's just so cold?
it's as if i was a NOBODY.

i know your personality,i've seen your good/bad sides.
you can be cold at times,but i still love you for who you are.
but all i ask for is you to show a little more care,is that too much?
i still love you,ALOT<3
Im just like a little boy,who needs love,care from his mother,
where you are the mother,and i am the little boy.
all i ask for is you to show your love,care towards me.
but of course in reality,it's girlfriend/boyfriend.

BOMBBBBBBBB!

today service was
AWESOME!
celebrity day,so cool uh so many celebrities come!
went t eat kfc with bff(huimin),huishan after service><
didn't finish my chicken!:( no appetite uh~

i will treat you,the way you treat me.
i will show you how much it hurts(:

love is like a maze.

broke down last night at 12++><. all the fucking bad memories just kept coming into my mind non-stop!I HATE IT:(

love is blind,
:O:O:O
i could've been much happier off with another girl
who has more freedom,but i chose to stay with you.
it's because i love you and it's real deep><.
3years till you get out of there?i will wait(:
the time's are tough,but i know we will be happy tgt some day.
and i will be waiting endlessly till the day comes.

cherish what you have.

today's another boring day!LOL~ :D
i want my hair faster grow ahhhh!!
i want holidays faster end,i wanna go to school!
haha,at home so boring =X
it's only been a day but it feels like it's been so long
w/o baby:(

As time passes everyday,thoughts flow through my head every second.
You can only live once and you can't turn back time,so i've decided
to cherish what i have and live life to the fullest. Sometimes i feel like
giving up,letting go. Im sure you feel it too,haha.
But the memories are STRONG,so i will hold on,just for you<3. we promised each other we'll never let go no matter what and we'll go through everything together no matter how tough it is, let's not break that promise alright baby?i love you:P

booooreeeed!:(

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i want this cannon to boom my head T_T~ Lol

so random eh?:D
Hehehhh,vcyl i miss you!faster come back from camp uhh:( i wanna hear your voiceee D:

what's wrong with me?:(

vivian cho yan li'baby,
im sorry i misunderstood you,hurt you,over and over again.
your words mean alot to me,if i say i trust you,you'll tell me to keep my trust to myself.
i know nothing i do can make up for what i've done,i just keep repeating the
same mistakes over and over again,i never learn my lesson do i?
you don't wanna hear me say sorry or i really didn't mean to do it,fine.
those words will never come out of my mouth ever again,never.
you tell me th truth not wanting to hide anything to me,but i went ahead and started
thinking alot and ended up misunderstanding you. you must be thinking
where'd my trust for you go?it's not that i don't trust you!
it's just so many things have happened last time,th past is affecting me ALOT.
i even made you regret calling me. to be honest,i wouldn't be thinking so much,making all this
unecessary problems if i felt your love for me 100%. but it's just sometimes
the way you talk to me sucks,and everytime that happens i begin
to doubt your love for me. you can be so sarcastic when your angry,and when
you are you can really hurt me alot. but i know it's all my fault that i made you say all the
hurtful words. i guess what i've done this time really hurt you alot,
when we were together the 1st month,we quarreled at least once a week.
even after,we still quarreled sometimes. but after wednesday,we didn't
quarrel for quite awhile. Did you notice it?i enjoy not quarreling with you,
i enjoy laughing together with you over the phone,i enjoy everything i do with you,
everything except quarreling with you):
it's because after wednesday,everyone felt you changed?you loved me more?
that's why i felt less insecure,but i guess you won't love me as much anymore
after what i've done to you,im sorry i spoiled your mood.
and it's all my fault,i always hurt you,
i don't know what's happening to our relationship seriously,i know that
i still love you alot no matter what. but i made you cry,AGAIN.
and nothing i do can make up for it. now i guess you won't even
go out with me when you get homeleave,i really don't know what i've done this time.
but i will do anything it takes,just for us to be happy together again.
even if it's the impossible,i will try!but you say nothing i do
can make up for it,i really don't know what i should do now.
i really don't want to lose you :( i don't know when will you forgive me,
but i really hope you will forgive me one day. i long to see you,
i really wanna go out with you,i just wanna hug you so tightly.
but after what i've done,i don't know if you'll still go out with me?
will you still love me like you did?after i hurt you so badly,
will you? you gave me chances over and over again,but i always spoil it.
I SERIOUSLY DON'T KNOW WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME!
but i really love you alot<3i hope you will forgive me for hurting you:(
i love you<3'

it's all my fault:(

girlfriend:(,
i don't know what to say,
i don't know how to make up for it,
it's all my fault,
all i can say is im sorry,but it's all too late.
and it's all my fault:(


i regret not saying what i should've said last night,
it's a big regret but it's all too late:(
i promise i'll make up for it when you can go out!
and it's a promise i won't break<3

060609O: 2nd month :P

EHH!i miss my cousin ah!i sleeping then she suddenly come hug me!i wish it was someone else who hugged me:(.i feel like drinking bubble tea :X all huimin fault uh! haha <> PA JIAOOO,you make my day ah bff,haha!:P i wanna download so many songs and put in my phone :( but don't know where to download,D:

Huimin,
thanks for being there for me whenever i need you,each time i cry or feel sad or anything you're always there for me,you even standby till midnight just incase i might call you><,you never fail to cheer me up:) i rmb that time on the bus i cry then you did ms swan face!HAHAHA,super funny ah!i don't want to laugh also cannot ><.

Abby,
thanks for being there for me whenever i need a listening ear,i will be yours if you need one too alright?(:

i thank god for these 2 wonderful bff's (:

(Valerio Capone:Vivian Cho)
2nd Month Anniversary<3
VIVIAN CHO YAN LI I LOVE YOU<3!

Vivian Cho Yan Li!,
baby,
thank you fr coming into my life
and changing it,it's been 2mnth
since we've been together,we've been through
alot but there's more to come. we promised
each other we'll go through it together,
let's not break that promise ok?<3
i love you for life,and only you!
i've never regretted doing anything with you,
anything!(: i want you to stay in my life
and never leave me,ever!
my feelings for you will never fade,
i will love you till my last breath<3
where you stay affects our relationship,
but so what?i don't mind!i'll wait
till you can go out. it may affect
our relationship,but it won't
affect my love towards you.
just remember i'll love you forever
and ever till my last breath alright?
i will never let go of you and never leave you,
XOXO<3

i'll change,for you(:

don't worry!i'll still be myself ok baby?change as in i'll stop cutting and stop breaking my promise. and another is i will love you moreeeeeeee!HAHAH<3

it's all the past(:

thanks for the day bff's!i had alot of fun(:. dear girlfriend!don't think so much okay?friends are friends girlfriend is girlfriend(: i can have lots and lots of friends or what but only you can be my girlfriend okay<3!i love you:P

love that never dies

rot at home whole morning/afternoon T_T. went t find my mom at suntec in the evening cuz she wanna re-new my phone contract then she wanna get herself iphone! but in th end re-new contract then she bought new phone for me! then she didn't get her iphone for herself >< love you loads mom!<3 just ate dinner,miss baby so much!:( hehehh,i love vivian cho yan li:D

Why?

can't get to bed :( you say,you don't understand why i treat you so well..it's because i truly love you<3 you say you feel guilty,WHY?! i treat you well,hoping you would feel my love for you,feel secure!and most of all feel happy<3not feel guilty or sad! baby,it hurts :( i did so much for you,so much. but it's not enough!not enough to make you happy,not enough to let you feel secure. it doesn't matter if to you,you're not treating me well enough. just hearing your voice makes my life worth living..i really miss you alot,alot.

baby,im scared to go to bed:( once i go up
on my bed and close my eyes,the flashbacks
of our happy/sad moments keep coming into
my mind..then i'll start missing you very
badly and then tears'll start rolling down
my cheeks:( im scared to lose you!i really
wish i could hug you right now,and never let
go :(
Even if you really didn't call for 1month,
i would still treat you as my girlfriend
and love you as much as i do right now.
i love you more than anything in the world<3